Back on the wagon...

Ok, well after taking a few months "off" we've decided to move forward with IVF... gulp!!! I've interviewed and researched the best Reproductive Endocrinologists in St. Louis and we've been debating over Dr. Sher at SIRM and staying with Dr. Jacob who has helped us thus far. I'll post my Dr reviews after we've made a final decision. It seems that no matter where you go in St. Louis you have to be prepared to spend $12,000-$14,000 by the time it's over, but the odd are in your favor since most of the well known practices do ICSI and assisted hatching for everyone. My husband and I have spend the last two months processing diferently... fighting a little... and questioning everything. He's less concerned about the cost of IVF and more concerned about the cost of raising a baby or two these days and I'm stuck on feeling like I'm going to the casino and putting $14k on red- if I "win" I hit the baby jackpot and if I lose- I've got nothing to show for it. We're doing better now, and have convinced ourselves that we're going through the same "stuff" every other couple goes through.


Yesterday I had a blood test done for "Activated Natural Killer Cells," but it will take a week to get the results back. My doctor does it for anyone who had a failed iui or ivf cycle or anyone with endometriosis. I guess it helps combat miscarriage when you know your test is positive they can give you medicine... crazy!

Here's my first forum post since the failed IUI:

Hello again! We had a failed IUI in February and took some time off to gather our thoughts, finances, and emotions. We've decided to move on to IVF in a June cycle and I got for my protocol appointment on Monday. I've interviewed the best REs in St. Louis and decided to stick with Dr. Jacob who did our IUI for several reasons... adding to my blog soon if anyone's in my area and curious. I have to start BCPs when AF arrives in the next couple of days. I responded really well to low doses of meds for the IUI so I'm praying that I'll have the same success with IVF. I had no side effects or issues and I'm scared to take the IVF leap, but so ready for our family. In a previous post I wrote my "ideal" situation to pass the time. I've changed mine a bit and posted it below. I hope you'll share yours too!!

In a perfect world, considering the cards we've already been dealt... My hysteroscopy goes perfectly well- like a pap or something simple (That was the case, thank God!!). My DH's SA comes back perfect and we can start treatment right away (Well, not quite, but we'll work with what we've got... low motility and volume). Of course, our insurance covers 90% without a bunch of red tape (Ha, I knew that wasn't an option, but it's my perfect scenario right?). We do one cycle of IUI and get pregnant with twins (Well, we didn't get pregnant at all, so I'm changing that to one IVF cycle). I have an easy pregnancy, look beautiful and glowy every day and have a romantic, easy, natural delivery. It's a boy, who we name William David Vincent and call "Wills" or "Liam" for short, and a girl we name Hana Junerose Arlette, and call her "JR" or "Sissy." They grow up to be smart, charming, and compassionate people. The four of us, and our dogs and chickens, live happily every after and leave thoughts of infertility and TTC forums a distant memory except for the constant prayer that goes up for the other couples walking in the shoes of our past. The end! (I'm still hopeful for all of these things!)

Not our time... I guess

I'm officially out! I had my Beta blood test this morning and just got the call- I regret taking it at school, I thought I'd already wrapped my mind around a failed cycle, but getting the call feels much worse than watching for a line that never shows up. They said my progesterone is really good, but HCG level was below 2. I am dreading the AF that is inevitable... We're not going on to do a March cycle, not sure if we'll do another IUI or not. 3 highly acclaimed doctors have said that doing IUI with any male factor issue is pretty pointless and that doing more than 3 IUI's is also, but then I see some people get BFP on their 5th... so many decisions.

I had hoped to do a really cute Easter announcement to my family- ugh, this is much harder than I'd anticipated.

1 Week past IUI, 1 Week till test

Ok, sorry it's been so long since my last post!! I took the trigger shot, and despite scary warnings from my doctor about it stinging a lot- I had no problem with it. So far I've still had no emotional symptoms and very few physical symptoms from any of the medication. The day of the IUI we went in at 40 hours past the trigger and completed the IUI with no pain- just the normal speculum discomfort, and it was over in minutes. No U/S or blood work so hopefully I ovulated? We only had 2.5 million "good" swimmers which is far from ideal, but we've probably sent at least one prayer up for each one!! That night I started crinone, progesterone suppositories and I've been on Vivelle Dot estradiol patch for about 10 days. The progesterone is making me very tired, I've been sleeping A LOT, and is making my boobs REALLY hurt, but no other symptoms. I decided to take a HPT every few days starting on the day of IUI to test out the trigger- I wanted to know when the hcg from the shot had worn off so I'd know if I got a positive pregnancy test later that it wasn't just the shot. Then I bought an undisclosed amount of dollar store HPTs so I could test everyday... I'm officially obsessing!!!

Today is my one week mark, halfway through the two week wait. I've decided that this daily testing idea was a mistake since I have several different brands of tests. Yesterday the $ store one was stark white negative and the day before the clearblue was barely positive, but this morning on a FRER I got a very very faint positive. I'm 7dpiui and 8.5dp trigger. I took 1 250 shot of Ovidrel and think it should be out of my system, but also know it's too early for BFP and now I'm going crazy! Note to self, be patient!! If I have to do this again (and God willing I won't) I will only test once- the day before Beta!! So, am I going to stop daily testing now? No, I can't, I'm addicted... what is wrong with me?? Haha, anyway, today is CD22, not much longer!!!!

IUI on Friday... my oh my!

Ok, I had the last appointment before IUI today! I have 5 final follies... ahhh!!! 22, 18, 16, and 2 at 15. I'm waiting for blood test results, but lining is 9.5... we're triggering today at 7:15pm and doing the IUI 40 hours later at 11:15am on Friday. They want me to start the estraiol patches tonight and the crinone progesterone suppositories tomorrow- day before iui and take them till BFN or 8 weeks after BFP.


_______


My results just came in, e2 is 1692 and p4 is 1.1 I confirmed about the progesterone and they say I need to take it tomorrow, I can take it in AM or PM, but need to do the same each day. I guess I'm trusting them, well trusting God, and hoping for the best!

CD11 U/S and B/W

Ok, I had my CD11 U/S and bloodwork this morning- they'll call later with the results. I've been using 25 iu Follistim twice a day and was told to continue using it till Wednesday- I go back to see if we should trigger. IUI is scheduled for Friday- CD15. I have 4 follies- 15, 14, and 2 are 13. Three on the right and one on the left.

I have a tattoo, get blood drawn all the time, and I've had surgery so I did not think giving myself injections would be a big deal, but I flipped out! My husband had to do the first few and now I'm fine with it, but there's something so unnatural about self inflicted pain! Haha, I felt like such a wimp!

Thankfully, I've had no side effects from the follistim either. Thanking God this whole process has been pretty smooth so far. I actually feel really great. My husband is going this afternoon to add to his "collection" and I had some tears when he hugged me this morning, but no mood problems with either drug or physical issues. Having said that, I don't know how people do this month after month! I will need at least a month off if we're not successful- it's so consuming I feel like I'm dropping the balls in other areas- this whole process is exhausting!!! Prayers up!


Bloodwork came back...

P4 is still less than .5, and E2 is 787. Oh, and my lining was 7.5 so I'm hoping that increases. I don't start progesterone suppositories or estrogen patches till Wednesday.

Honest.com

So, Jessica Alba has the cutest company with earth and baby friendly products and I'm entertaining the idea of doing an eco-friendly baby review to occupy my 2ww including comparing cloth diapers to disposible but earth-friendly diapers. I am also delving into Montessori and making a product collection with magazine clippings. Just wanted to give a few shoutouts to the companies/people I'm following and plan to be using soon, God willing!!!


IF Links:

www.haveababy.com
http://forums.fertilitycommunity.com


Natural Baby Products:

www.honest.com
www.cottonbabies.com

Montessori Stuff:

Ikea.com
ladofnod.com

Other Great Stuff:

www.zulily.com

Follow me on twitter for more:
https://twitter.com/IfNotForNoah

CD8 Bloodwork and U/S

I'm waiting to hear back about the estradiol and progesterone numbers, but the appointment went well. I have 8 follies, 3 that are 9 (2 right/1 left), and the rest 6 or under. My lining was about 6.5. They will let me know my numbers this afternoon and whether or not and how much Follistim to use. I got back Monday to do the same tests again. I also spoke to my RE about the SIRM conference I went to and conversation with Dr. Sher. He is very supportive of ordering any tests I want, but says he has my best interests and budget in mind. He also thinks we have a less than 10% chance of IUI working with male factor issues, BUT says its worth trying. I feel content with that and I physically and emotionally feel great right now so why not?

Bloodwork results:

I have to take the Follistim: 25 iu tonight, Saturday morning, Sunday morning, Monday morning
Estradiol was 191 and P4 was less than .5
My numbers are low, but they said the progesterone suppositories will help as will the follistim and I go back on Monday morning to check in again! Prayers up!!!