Friday, April 26, 2013

Back on the wagon...

Ok, well after taking a few months "off" we've decided to move forward with IVF... gulp!!! I've interviewed and researched the best Reproductive Endocrinologists in St. Louis and we've been debating over Dr. Sher at SIRM and staying with Dr. Jacob who has helped us thus far. I'll post my Dr reviews after we've made a final decision. It seems that no matter where you go in St. Louis you have to be prepared to spend $12,000-$14,000 by the time it's over, but the odd are in your favor since most of the well known practices do ICSI and assisted hatching for everyone. My husband and I have spend the last two months processing diferently... fighting a little... and questioning everything. He's less concerned about the cost of IVF and more concerned about the cost of raising a baby or two these days and I'm stuck on feeling like I'm going to the casino and putting $14k on red- if I "win" I hit the baby jackpot and if I lose- I've got nothing to show for it. We're doing better now, and have convinced ourselves that we're going through the same "stuff" every other couple goes through.

Yesterday I had a blood test done for "Activated Natural Killer Cells," but it will take a week to get the results back. My doctor does it for anyone who had a failed iui or ivf cycle or anyone with endometriosis. I guess it helps combat miscarriage when you know your test is positive they can give you medicine... crazy!

Here's my first forum post since the failed IUI:

Hello again! We had a failed IUI in February and took some time off to gather our thoughts, finances, and emotions. We've decided to move on to IVF in a June cycle and I got for my protocol appointment on Monday. I've interviewed the best REs in St. Louis and decided to stick with Dr. Jacob who did our IUI for several reasons... adding to my blog soon if anyone's in my area and curious. I have to start BCPs when AF arrives in the next couple of days. I responded really well to low doses of meds for the IUI so I'm praying that I'll have the same success with IVF. I had no side effects or issues and I'm scared to take the IVF leap, but so ready for our family. In a previous post I wrote my "ideal" situation to pass the time. I've changed mine a bit and posted it below. I hope you'll share yours too!!

In a perfect world, considering the cards we've already been dealt... My hysteroscopy goes perfectly well- like a pap or something simple (That was the case, thank God!!). My DH's SA comes back perfect and we can start treatment right away (Well, not quite, but we'll work with what we've got... low motility and volume). Of course, our insurance covers 90% without a bunch of red tape (Ha, I knew that wasn't an option, but it's my perfect scenario right?). We do one cycle of IUI and get pregnant with twins (Well, we didn't get pregnant at all, so I'm changing that to one IVF cycle). I have an easy pregnancy, look beautiful and glowy every day and have a romantic, easy, natural delivery. It's a boy, who we name William David Vincent and call "Wills" or "Liam" for short, and a girl we name Hana Junerose Arlette, and call her "JR" or "Sissy." They grow up to be smart, charming, and compassionate people. The four of us, and our dogs and chickens, live happily every after and leave thoughts of infertility and TTC forums a distant memory except for the constant prayer that goes up for the other couples walking in the shoes of our past. The end! (I'm still hopeful for all of these things!)